That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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