i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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