ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The best revenge is premature balding
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize