speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
