check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we made out on top of his cat.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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