they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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