porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
