I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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