covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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