bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
