im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
