yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
