Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
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didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
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Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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