We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
