I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We're not piercing ourselves today.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
