I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
