The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
