We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
