i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
