What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
