Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
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she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
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I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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