You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
this is an emotional support booty call
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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