just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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