Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
