Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize