adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
A+ Viking dick
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
