Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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