No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
