What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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