i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
