She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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