i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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