How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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