Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
