I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
