i would punch a child for taco bell
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
