All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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