the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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