i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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