I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
