We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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