one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
