Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
