I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
