Define "chronic" masturbator.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
