at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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