What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
