there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
