So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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