Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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