shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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