you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
