I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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