Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
