Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
They took my balls.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
