if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
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You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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