just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
