Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
high people should be assigned attendants
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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