Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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