everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
